I won’t get much sympathy for this and many will say what did I expect. But, dear readers, I made a fatal mistake this morning…. I watched Jeremy Kyle. Serves me right!
But what caused my blood pressure to increase significantly was his sneery contemptuous behaviour (whats new?!?!) towards a young woman who was on the show to determine, once and for all, whether her partner was the biological dad of her baby girl. So the climax of the show Kyle reading the DNA results.
The young woman’s child was conceived after she got drunk and in her own words was, ‘taken advantage of’. I took that to be a euphemism for rape. Kyle, instead, enjoyed lecturing her about ‘binge drinking’ and that her behaviour should be a ‘warning’ to everyone out there.
Not once did Kyle ask about what happened to her. Again, he made an outrageous and vile comment about bringing in the ’6 or 7 men who could be the father and taking their DNA’..
This is a very serious criminal offence yet Kyle downplays it, or rather indulges in woman blaming. Nor does he say anything about consent or who was involved (was this woman ganged raped?) he just speculates. She was drunk, shoulda known better, end of. The onus is put on her.
So not only is it about her fault, ‘cos she was drunk, she’s a slag as far as Kyle is concerned. Lets rip the woman’s sexual history apart along with her reputation. Lets trash it.
Again, he wasn’t concerned when she said she was ‘taken advantage of’ when she was drunk or to hear her side of the story. Instead it was about reverting to sexist double-standards, making assumptions and honing in on her behaviour.
So what, she was drunk, did she deserve to be sexually assaulted, raped? I suppose it is enjoyable for the likes of Kyle to make snap offensive moral judgements about people, to sneer in that middle class manner and to wield power over people.
But these programmes aren’t about insight, awareness or understanding it is about demeaning people and moralising them. Gee, that’s fun to hold court over people and pick through their fuck-ups, it is a spectator sport. Cruel and nasty.
Indeed why do people appear on the show? I don’t know the motivations of the young couple this morning other they wanted to know who was the dad of the baby. But I really felt sorry for the young woman, as she was scared and you could tell. Kyle wasn’t interested in getting to the truth or even suggesting she should speak to the police or Rape Crisis.
He’d rather pour scorn on the fact she was drunk, in his eyes she had cheated on her partner. And indeed was utterly appallingly dismissive when she said, a couple of times, she had been taken advantage of.
Did he prefer to view that as a convenient excuse, clouded by his own misogyny and moralism? Or does he think it makes good telly to make assumptions, moralise and lecture a woman about her so-called binge drinking and sexual ‘misconduct’ as opposed to listening to her when she is trying to say she was raped…? And they wonder why women don’t come forward to report rape….
This is car crash telly at its worse, real psychodrama. Why do people go on to tell the world their most intimate and heartbreaking stories about fuck-ups in their lives, do they think they will get resolution? Will it help this couple to know now that the baby isn’t the man’s biological daughter? Does it matter? Shouldn’t the partner be for more concerned about what happened to his partner when she got drunk? Instead he seemed more concerned about his DNA and biological status.
This specific programme really exposed the interplay and dynamics between traditional gender roles, misogyny and power relationships between men and women. The two men ganging up on the woman was horrible to witness. She was the ‘baddie’ and she needed to be exposed for it, in their eyes.
She was left utterly powerless and in pieces yet bully Kyle had the gall to put his arm around the woman and say, ‘we are here to support you’…
If that’s support then who needs it! Then again, maybe Jeremy Kyle should hook up with Derek Draper. They would make a fine upstanding team…..
Ouch, we sure live in a society that likes blaming the victim when it comes to sexual assault or rape.
I also made this accident about a year ago, where the victim was an alcoholic and also by chance (not) a young mother with a few options for a DNA dad for her child.
The only reasons that spring to mind as to why somebody would subject themselves to be a ‘guest’ on the show are money and ‘fame’. A DNA test is expensive whereas it is free on the show, and I would imagine the show pays quite well on expenses even if it doesn’t pay the guests?
Actually I need a holiday, who can I get DNA tested…
That’s weird, I saw it about a year ago too. It was sort of a similar set up. Kyle had a young woman on whose mother wasn’t sure who the father was, the man she thought was her father or someone else. Revolting and one can only imagine how the programme exacerbated the pre-existing tensions in that family. In another segment he berated an self-admittedly unpleasant young man for his behaviour to his partner, but it came across as patrician and counterproductive. I read somewhere that Kyle was meant to be ‘leftish’… I couldn’t see it myself.
WbS: I certainly don’t think Kyle is ‘leftish’ in any shape or form.Indeed these situations will worsen family relationship and intensify power relationships. Horrible horrible stuff.
earwicga: I don’t know what the participants get out of appearing. Maybe they really think something will be resolved.
Vicky: Absolutely…Lets blame the victim!
I’ve just watched one and the girl involved had been found in a hotel bedroom with a man in the same room while her partner had groped a woman in a club the night before. Again he totally dismissed the partner’s behaviour after asking if he’d ‘touched her intimately’?’ (try groping/sexual harrassment)and being told by the guy that he didn’t know. Instead he went on and on about how the girl was stupid and cannot be expected to be believed that nothing happened by having a male in her room. How hard would it have been to place equal emphasis on both of their mistakes?? Jeremy himself got very agitated when the results of the lie-detector were clearly shown to be dodgy. The man is a misogynist and is not even a balanced person himself or even seems bothered about conveying himself as such. How can he expect to assist the people on his show or the many viewers with their lives. ITV is doing its audience a major disservice by keeping him on. There are a million people who could do the job better with talent and charisma as well as insight and a balanced attitude. Keep the programme maybe but GET RID of JK! And preferably don’t replace him with Kilroy Silk.
I am so glad that I am not the only one who picked up on this. I don’t understand why someone has’nt sought legal action, it is well overdue on this awful programme should be shelved. I always like to think that this awful man will get his come-uppance and like Kilroy Silk will be heard of no more.