Fair maiden Kate and William the Prince

Once upon a time there lived a fair maiden called Kate, she had the nouveau riche about her the wealth accumulated through mater and pater. She attended an institution of learning in a land way down yonder far far away where she met a blue-blooded young prince. She set that lusty noble blood a-racing when he clapped eyes on her skimpy transparent garment as she sashayed down a catwalk. And now with the years passing, the prince proposed marriage to fair commoner Kate. Takes me back down ye olde memory lane, where the prince’s fair chaste mother married Right Charlie of Windsor. A ruffian and cad too! Forsooth! The marriage ended where jet-setting princess of the people was besmirched and cokewolded by the mistress Camilla. A very sad story sadder due to maiden princess not understanding clunk click gospel according to Jimmy of Saville.

Tis now the wedding week where celebrations are afoot, cavorts and gigs with Bacchus thrown in. Lots of feasts to celebrate the eventus. They lived happily ever after in a palace that was paid for through the blood, sweat and tears of the masses. But worry not… many worthssipe the monarchie (so doff your cap!) but many of the plebs don’t give a princely toss for the royal wedding but say hurrah we have a day off from capitalism. Oh, and those knaves who cheer ‘Vive la République’ will be thrown into the Tower and told, “Orf with their heads” …..

Dear reader, this scribe will be miles and miles and miles away from Londinium instead present in Cymru keeping well away from the publications and ye olde goggle box.

Lynkys: Carl of Raincoat on the impending nuptials

What is this I see before thee, a Carnival of Republicanism…ye gods!