Goodbye 2011 hello 2012

2011 started with an Arab Spring, uprisings in the Middle East, imperialist intervention in Libya, anti-cuts protests, global occupations from Wall Street to St Pauls, London, protests inspired by UK Uncut, 26 March demonstration in London. Later on strikes in June and strikes at the end of November. Here’s to the continuation of the resistance in 2012.

Happy resistance 2012!

Here’s some pix to remind us all of 2011…that was the year that was.

London - Egypt demo

Anti-cuts protest in Camden

March 26 2011

March 26 2011 - outside Fortnum and Mason

UK Uncut protest inside NatWest

Slutwalk

Pro-Choice rally

Outside Paternoster Sq

Outside St Pauls

30 Nov 2011

Nov 30 2011

And my own two personal choices…. can’t forget the heron…

Waves crashing off the rocks around Mumbles

Around Mumbles, Swansea

My list of must-see films

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who commented on my annus horribilis post or contacted me offline or via Twitter/Facebook. Thanks for your kind words!!

I have been remiss in seeing films in 2011. These are a list of films, out at the moment, I want to see:

1. Margaret

2. Dreams of A Life

3. Puss In Boots (I love the Shrek animated films)

4. Girl With A Dragon Tattoo (see if it’s as good as the original!)

5. Mission Impossible (I like the franchise….)

6. Shame (released in Jan)

7. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

If anyone has any recommendations, please say.

Merry Xmas everybody

Went to the Swansea Winter Wonderland, which was wet and rainy. The Big Wheel was opened to the elements so shivered. Went on the Mad House ride and I screamed constantly for about 5 minutes as being thrown around, up and down and around and around. Other ‘alf was stoic and screamed for around 30 seconds. Birthday was OK though spent a lot of it travelling in very heavy rain.  Nice time scoffing chocolate and drinking Sauvignon blanc.

Happy Xmas…everybody

2011: an annus horribilis

I wrote this time last year that I hoped 2011 was an improvement. Well, it was spectacularly worse. To quote that great thinker Homer……Simpson there weren’t any dizzying highs, or creamy middles just terrifying lows. I suppose for the past year I have been restrained to a certain extent but having run the gauntlet of numb, pissed off, numb, pissed off, numb again. I have gone from employed, financially stable(ish) and healthy to unemployed …I still feel raw, undeniably let down, shafted, bullied and bitter over that and if I wanted to write about that experience I can’t due to various legal constraints…trying to come to terms with an injustice is hard. And where damage is done and nobody gave a damn!

I am sure there are many others out there as we are all “innit” together. My GP reckons that due to the economic situation many employers are setting up employees to get rid of them on the cheap. Indeed. So going from employed to unemployed in one fell swoop was a real kicker. The middle of this year culminated in me thinking seriously of suicide, with what had happened with my job I just crumbled and I wanted to disappear, my life was on a knife-edge, I couldn’t believe what was being done to me, it seemed so Kafka-esque where there were accusations made about me yet I wasn’t allowed to defend myself.  I couldn’t cope with trade union full timers who seemed more intent on selling me out than defending me (in the end after countless emails and arguments I eventually got legal support…. Word of advice, get your support from rank and file members NOT full-timers, as they care!). The thing that kept me going over the months from March to August was watching the herons in the park, their tranquil behaviour instilled a kind of calmness.

Coupled with this shit, my health disintegrated. Colds, flu, chest infections, asthma (“What”? …. “Yes”, said the GP). Constant tiredness. If sleeping was an Olympic sport then I would be gold medal material. The assumption was because I was very depressed and anxious I would be tired. But to be on the safe side I had some blood tests, came back that my thyroid gland wasn’t working properly. The number of times I have been to that hospital for tests I think a seat should be reserved for me.

And of course being unemployed, your income plummets substantially and the daily grind of filling out application forms becomes your day. I am starting to wonder whether I am employable or more to the point, unemployable. So many people chasing for so few jobs yet the ConDems still blame the unemployed. Though I do wonder whether I am persona non grata. I’d hope I woulda got a job by now but no. What’s wrong with me? I have skills, experience and knowledge….yet…….!

Ok, by this stage I am wondering whether this looks like one big whinge but for the past year I have been in dignified silence mood, well sorta, but sometimes life and  luck (or the lack of it)  takes the biscuit. What I have got to lose? Life for me, and countless others, is in dire straits. I have no idea what 2012 holds. I try to hold out for a hopeful 2012 but the constant onslaught of shit has numbed me to the core, anxiety seems to have disappeared, comfortably numb is guaranteed due to chemical intervention (wonder drug Citalopram).

I am sure there are people reading this who can relate to some of it, things never crash-land in your life one at a time. Just experiencing one of these things is bad enough but three…misfortune or carelessness. Or just exceptionally bad luck.

But of course, the end of the year is nigh, and as I sit alone in bed tapping away at my laptop late at night (my partner took a job in Bristol, I see him at the weekends) I  start to feel cheated, frustrated and angry. The blood tests found something else out accidentally, at the age of 41 (42 on Friday) I am entering the menopause along with cysts on my ovaries. GP thought the cyst would go instead from today’s scan I have more. So next stop is gynaecology before that I need to speak to my GP. She talked to me about HRT etc. but I couldn’t take it in. I just felt another blow had taken the wind out of my sails. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal yet I can’t believe how shit I feel about all this. It feels like I am mourning some loss (if that makes sense).

And yet I try to carry on campaigning and being an activist concentrating on the struggle against the ConDems, it proves helpful but sometimes life and bad luck intervenes so I end up staring at the ceiling lying in bed listening to Rachmaninoff on Radio 3, wondering why nobody wants to employ me and mind racing about finances. Sometimes just seeing others in the same position makes me feel less alone (does that sound awful?) yet there are times when I do feel alone and isolated, where I want to barricade myself in. I wonder if I am turning into a female version of Yossa Hughes (“Gis a job”) as I think I have a lot to give, organisational skills and well composed pix of herons. Constantly saying to myself that it was my former employer’s loss doesn’t really sink in nor telling myself that I was a valuable asset. Obviously they didn’t see that. Again, as my partner, would reiterate, “Their loss, they don’t know a good worker when they see one!” But it doesn’t stop the despondency, moving on and coming to terms with this nasty blip in my life which is a goal but at the moment seems futile as I have no energy and my expectations are low. It also knocks your self-esteem, belief in yourself and confidence (and that was alway low) getting yourself back up by your bootstraps is impossible for the time being.

Thanks for reading this, I just wanted to share this, I have been keeping a lot of this to myself. Would like to thanks comrades and friends both in person and in cyberspace for being helpful, supportive and kind. I just can’t believe all this shit. I really can’t. I dare not hope for a better 2012. That just feels too scary. The struggle against those vile ConDems continues and on a collective level we will all feel the pain. Fight continues.

The nightmare of “Hard Times” workhouse – a christmas tale

A chill wind blew through the cracks in the already disintegrating new workhouse building. Mister Bumble paced the corridor muttering at the shoddy and shabby peeling paint and silently wishing they hadn’t used unpaid labour to build this workhouse. But it was estimated that thousands would be saved if qualified and skilled labour was junked in favour of unpaid labour. “Oh well”, thought Mister Bumble, “at least my office is warm”. As he walked quickly towards his office shivering as gusts of wind rattled through the windows more cost cutting as insulation and draft excluders are not worth the expense for these people. Mister Bumble shook his head vehemently while pursing his lips thinking about “these people”.

When Mister Bumble attended the job interview for jail keeper (well, in the advertisement said it said, “facility manager”..) he was asked a number of questions by the board of private trustees who run the “facility”. Three of them, one was the Personnel Manager, Mrs. Corney, a middle-aged woman with a pinched face peering intently at Mister Bumble. Mister Limbkins, a rotund man red in face staring at the plate of Hob-Nobs in the centre of the table and Mister Heep, a polar opposite to Mister Limbkins, sitting straight tapping his bony fingers on the table.

“Good morning, Mister Bumble, I am humbled that you could attend at the last moment”, said Mister Heep

“Now, Mister Bumble, the job entails overseeing of this new exciting and efficiently run facility, which, as you know, was only opened recently by Iain Duncan-Smith”, cooed Mrs Corney

“Do you think you have the capabilities for this job, Mister Bumble”? asked Mister Limbkins

“You must also have some knowledge of the type of people being admitted here”, sniffed Mrs Corney

“Yes”, interjected Mister Heep, “these people, they just don’t try. There are jobs, unpaid jobs. But will they take them”?

Mister Limbkins tutted and shook his enormous head, “Indeed Mister Heep, they won’t do what they are told. They demand pay and conditions. PAY AND CONDITIONS”! shrieked Mister Limbkins spluttering bits of biscuits.

“Workshy, that’s what they are. Scroungers too. They want their benefits but won’t do anything, just lounge about at home, watching Jeremy Kyle and going out shopping in Oxford Street. SHOPPING IN OXFORD STREET”… Mister Limbkins coughed violently and looked like a coronary was on the cards.

“Well, the ConDems soon put an end to that nonsense. If these lazy workshy scroungers couldn’t get a job then NO BENEFITS, and the workhouse”, grinned Mrs Corney

“An absolute money saver, no shelling out benefits or housing benefits or tax credits or disability benefits. Just warehouse the lazy blighters in this state of the art detention centre”, said Mister Heep

“Ha! Erm…no Mister Heep, I think you mean state of the art facility”, interrupted Mister Limbkins.

“Oh yes, humble apologies”, stated a startled and embarrassed Mister Heep

“Well, Mister Bumble, do you think you keep these lazy miscreants in order”? asked Mrs Corney

Mister Bumble sat there, he too was staring at the ever diminishing plate of HobNobs, eventually breaking out of the spell of the desire for biscuits and chocolate and nodded his head.

“Of course I can, it is important to instill order and discipline and I can keep my beady eye on these scroungers. Making sure they work their fingers to the bone for their keep”, maintained Mister Bumble….

That all seemed like an eternity as Mister Bumble sat in his luxury well heated office. Unfortunately, his room couldn’t keep out the cheap and nasty stench of the food given to the inmates. Fortunately, for Mister Mumble his food was tasty and aromatic. He was pleased with himself, he had passed his probation period, discipline and order was top priority and this workhouse has been awarded most productive (though there had been rebellions which thankfully with the help of the TSG, water canons and plastic bullets was quelled quickly).

“Oh yes,” thought Mister Bumble as he sat back on his chair, “another year is ending and another is approaching. The workhouse, ah yes, the way forward for the 21st century, totally breaks the human spirit”… He checked his drawer just to be on the safe-side that it was well stocked with plastic bullets and tasers… just in case, you know some aren’t broken enough.

Merry Christmas to you all…..And a happy New Year

Disclosure and mental distress

It’s a funny old world, isn’t it, statistically speaking..? Around one in four people experience mental distress yet the stigma, demonisation and unfair treatment that surrounds this is unbelievable especially when it comes to employment.

The issue of mental ill health is still being swept under the carpet in most workplaces, with just four in ten employees saying they would feel confident to disclose a mental health problem to their employer.

That’s according to the latest research by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD), published today to coincide with the launch of a new guide to help more employers to manage and support mental health at work, which has been developed by CIPD and leading mental health charity Mind.

The survey of 2,000 people in employment in the UK reveals that despite more than a quarter (26%) of employees having experienced a mental health problem while in employment, too few employers are taking positive steps to manage this increasingly business critical issue. 

Just 25% of respondents say their organisation encourages staff to talk openly about mental health problems and only 37% say their employer supports employees with mental health problems well.

Anyone surprised? Me neither.

Furthermore

Just over a third of respondents say their employer supports employees with mental health problems well. In contrast 21% of workers say their employer does not support mental health at work well, while 31% do not know what support is available, suggesting poor communication is part of the problem.

Having experienced a roller-coaster ride of employment in every aspect of a job from start, middle to finish I have had varied experiences. Some positive some downright offensive. It never ceases to amaze me the number of times I hear the phrase “duty of care” as the reality is ever so different. It’s a great stock phrase to chirp when many managers aint got the tiniest clue what it means. And sometimes it translates with employers seemingly understanding (nodding head symapthetically) while at the same time trying to find cunning ways of getting rid of you through legal or not so legal methods, it happens and to many people. No matter with all the legal requirements and policies in place people with mental health problems are still unfairly treated.

In the present unenlightened attitudes and ignorance exists and the fear has increased correlated with the attacks on the benefits systems and constant demonisation of disabled people. More fear. More stress. More silence.

In May this year, research found:

One in five workers who had disclosed a mental health issue at work said they had been fired or forced to quit.

One in five people are scared of losing their job if they admit they are suffering from stress.

Though Paul Farmer – CEO of MIND (as this research was conducted by MIND) states,
There are reasons to be positive though, as research suggests a large amount of employers say they are happy to discuss mental health issues with a job applicant.

Well, that may be true but it depends on each workplace. Some do, some don’t. Managers and Personnel get training (though how adequate that training is I don’t know) but rarely have I seem training for workers overall. One workplace I was in did have a day on mental health training but it was headed by professionals not a user in sight. It is vital to have training given by users as they know what it’s like plus it gives a voice to say what our experiences have been so far, to discuss good practices and the bad practices.

Listen to the people who have been through the system and the barriers they face when it comes to employment. You know, it would be great if for once you’re allowed to get on with your life without the constant worry that your mental history will be used as a tool of oppression against you.

Have a look at Managing and Supporting Mental Health at Work: disclosure tools for managers which has been developed by MIND & CIPD Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development. Any good?

Defend pensions!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that right-wing trade union bureaucrats have a historical tendency for capitulation and betrayal; from the ’26 General Strike, Grunwick dispute, ’84 Miners Strike and so on. The union rank and file activists stand firm while the bureaucrats sell them out. And today, it is no different on the pension dispute. I couldn’t make the emergency lobby outside TUC Congress House today but have been watching the news unfold and capitulation by the Unison/GMB/Unite bloc. Pissed off? Damn right. If these deals are rammed through then getting workers to strike will be tough because many will be asking themselves whether there’s a point for industrial action if your own leadership eventually sells you out then what’s the point (and I am sure that’s the method in the madness of some union bureaucrats). How’s about the USDAW-isation of the trade union movement all submissive and compliant …

Anyway, there have been no concessions been made by Maude and his cronies it is still work longer for less, even better with the bitter chill of pay freezes. Barber and Prentis believe that 30 November was a “proud day” and “seen a new atmosphere in the negotiations”…. yet those two want to cave in. So much for militancy and radical action. This all smacks of splitting the movement. It wasn’t just the ConDems who were unnerved by the Nov 30th strike but also the trade union bureaucracy. Militancy scares the crap out of them. Nevertheless PCS is standing firm and showing no capitulation.

As the LRC press release says:

Leaders of the TUC and some trade unions have split the trade union movement today by capitulating to the Government, betraying not only their own members but also undermining the teachers’, civil servants’ and health service workers’ unions.

No matter how some try to dress it up, the Government has made no concessions on any of the key issues that brought 2 million workers out on strike on 30th November.

Public sector workers will still have to pay more and work longer for their pensions and yet some union leaders, led by Unison, have agreed to suspend action, and recommend acceptance to their members.

Even worse, by accepting the Government’s ultimatum, these unions have agreed to the exclusion of fellow unions from future negotiations.

Caving in reflects a disastrous misjudgement, which not only divides the trade union movement, but strengthens the government at a time when it has been looking increasingly divided and weak.

Yet all is not lost. The outline deals agreed to by some union general secretaries are not final deals. They must be approved by union executives and by union members.

Today reinforces the need for united grassroots organisation in our trade unions. The LRC will back any unions seeking to fight on for fair pensions for all, and will work in a non-sectarian way to build alliances to organise against those union leaders who are asking their members to make unjustifiable sacrifices to their pensions.

In the coming months and years, our movement is facing a massive attack on living standards, public services and welfare. This is a brutal class war – forcing the costs of the economic crisis onto its victims. We need to resist and fight against these attacks.

We must build and reinforce the confidence of trade union members to stand up and fight, and to reject these shoddy deals. Just as John Prescott labelled John Hutton ‘a collaborator’ for his role in the producing a report recommending public sector pensions attacks, we have no reservation in labelling those union leaders who signed up to deals today as collaborators too.

An anonymous life and death

Every year when the London Film Festival comes round I always go through the booklet with great care but this year I was remiss as I didn’t notice this documentary, Dreams of a Life, written and directed by Carol Morley. I just checked out the feature films. I really wished i had seen it before now. The documentary is based on a woman found in her flat three years after she had died, the body was discovered due to her flat being repossessed. She was surrounded by unopened Xmas presents. This faceless image haunted Morley and was curious to know who was this woman, Joyce Carol Vincent, whose skeletal remains lay undisturbed for 3 years. And why did she end up like this? Did nobody notice she was missing? More importantly, did anyone notice? Morley wanted to unravel and make sense of Joyce’s life. She traced old boyfriends, friends and work colleagues who knew Joyce over the years. As with life people drop in and out, friendships get strong, weaker and sometimes you just simply lose contact as other things crop up and move on. Joyce, it seemed, lived in a women’s refuge, interesting as well many of Joyce’s x-boyfirends preferred to stay anonymous.

Life isn’t straightforward, it’s not linear, yet it’s constantly moving and changing. Life can throw the good as well as the bad as well as the down right tragic. Joyce had a good job, a seemingly happy life if her friends are to be believed but what changed. How do you fill in the spaces where there are so many gaps? Joyce’s memories have died with her, who she was, her hopes and dreams can’t be shared instead her life is being restructured as a human mosaic with various people involved in the completion. Little is said about her family, some turned up to her inquest (the cause of death was hard to ascertain as her body had decomposed) and it is easy to try to make sense by making assumptions such as was she estranged? A friend said her family didn’t like her boyfriends.

But there are wider issues such as why nobody in her street notice to wasn’t around? But like many neighbourhoods, including my own, people are generally anonymous especially in London. Certainly, I keep myself to myself, I don’t know who lives downstairs from me and i have lived in this block for over 6 years. I don’t notice. People don’t notice. Also, London is transient population, people move around so why notice if you haven’t seen someone in your street. Did nobody smell anything? Maybe not. There have been stories of people who have been found in their houses days, months and years after they died. Nobody noticed. Life can be on the up and up then the next minute it can crash spectacularly, did this happen to Joyce? I wished I had seen this documentary advertised as part of the LFF as from the article it appears a sensitive and compassionate portrayal of a life that didn’t just end with an anonymous headline in a paper about a dead body found after 3 years. And at least there’s a photograph of Joyce. A name to a face and to a life.

Reading the article saddened and unsettled me and captured what is so wrong with this society. How easy it is to disappear? For nobody to notice, to fall through the cracks, to dissolve all trace, ebb away to vanish, to disappear, to be forgotten. This highlighted just how alienating, atomising and lonely life is. And more so, another reason why this piece touched me, with Xmas on the way. A time for good cheer and happiness yet for many it is the opposite. Families to get together yet for some it is a painful reminder of loss and estrangement, mourning for what could have been. A void. An emptiness. The documentary is now showing, in saying that, I hope it brings to life who Joyce was.

Christopher Hitchens – “a drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay”

Once upon a time in the distant past I used to respect Christopher Hitchens (like I once respected Nick Cohen), the former IS/SWPer, he was the more left-wing of the brothers Hitchens. I regularly read his columns in Vanity Fair during the 1990s. I recall very well his piece on abortion that really, utterly and truly narked me. My respect for the Hitch plummeted dramatically him using his wit, personal anecdotes and way with words to mask his anti-abortion views with his usual polemical style but arguing from a liberal humanist standpoint. Put simply he was a sexist dick. Then the War on Terror came along…and Hitchens was in favour of the imperialist ‘liberators’ of Iraq. The last time I read anything by the Hitch was when he waded in on the Gita Sahgal and Amnesty situation.

The Hitch used to have considerable rhetorical powers once upon a time. He was also good at stating the heterodox view. The weighing in over the row between Gita Sahgal and Amnesty International rehashed the arguments already put by others and dealt with. The Hitchens of old would have demanded some evidence to back up allegations and would have been alert to “evidence” being guilt by association. He would also have flung out barb after barb against all the atrocities of the war of terror waged by the neo-cons. But instead he became a clone of one of them. Even his way with words, charm and so-called sharp wit didn’t make him a male version of a Dorothy Parker, his barbs weren’t insightful but exposed a degree of cruelty.

For me, the biggest crime Hitchens made was support for the Iraq war, and to quote Richard Seymour’s book this amounted to “the liberal defence of murder”. Hitchens critique discounted the destruction of capitalism and imperialism and therefore his whole political appeal to the Left collapses. The apologist indulging in support of mindless brutality by arguing that the cause is greater and justified. Not much of a legacy to leave behind.

Other spot-on obituaries

Organized Rage

Norman G Finkelstein

Lenin’s Tomb

Latte Labour

Madam Miaow

One from Carl though I disagree with his views on Hitchens it is nevertheless thoughtful.

A nice popinjay